Monday, April 12, 2010

you're safe now

I'm not shy about how much I love CSI: Miami, any of the other CSI spin-offs, and Criminal Minds. For some reason, it's totally not uncommon to find marathons of any of those shows on Friday, Saturday, or Sunday night. And it's not uncommon for me to park my ass in front of the TV when I do happen across a marathon of one of said shows.

I get so enthralled with each episode, so quickly, I don't even know.

Anyway, I was just watching it the other day, and something struck me.

I think it was Criminal Minds, and the team was hot on the trails of a serial killer, just a step behind him. They went to a particular location where they thought he'd be, and of course he wasn't there. It was pretty clever, the TV showed the team entering one house, making it look like the house the killer would be, and then after the commercial break, it showed the killer entering the victim's house - with the team just entering some dumb bitch's house.

The team went on to find the correct location of the killer, and they hightailed it over there like what. By this time, the killer has the victim all tied up, and he's about to kill her. Magically, the FBI team teleported themselves into the front yard of the house where the killer is about to end this chick's life.

They enter quietly.

The killer has no idea, as he's in the bedroom, about to suffocate his victim.

He's got the plastic over her face, she's not doing so well.

The team is silently creeping up the hallway.

The victim lets out a gurgle, alerting the team to which room she's in.

Commercial break. Dammit.

Next shot, one FBI agent bursts into the room, followed by the rest of them, tackling the serial killer, yelling, "YOU'RE SAFE NOW, FBI. YOU'RE SAFE NOW, FBI".

Breathing a sigh of relief, the victim starts to get up, with a huge, but still anxious smile on her face. She is safe now; she has been spared by the fateful hand of god, as the hour long show comes to an end.

But wait, imagine if I was the producer of the show. I've got an alternate ending.

What if the FBI team that saved her from the serial killer is actually another team of ELITE SERIAL MURDERERS, following serial killers around, jumping in at the last second, saving the victim from the original serial killer, and then proceeding to brutally murder the victim themselves?

How awesome would that be? Pretty awesome.


1 comment:

Tampa T-MINUS 3 DAYS said...


What if they got there just a second too late?


What if they got there, but she was already dead and he was you know...doing stuff to the body. Like hair and nails - sicko.

That's right. It's a SICK, SICK world.