Thursday, April 8, 2010

porn at work

Think about that for a second.

PORN.

AT WORK.

Kind of a bold little phrase there.

What does that even mean? Presumably, it means checking out Veronica Rayne getting mashed by some dude with a mack truck in his pants.

...while on the company dime.

At first glance, that sounds pretty ridiculous, right? Sittin' there at your computer, slippin' your hand into your pocket, and covertly beatin' that meat to high heaven.

But really, how bad is it if you spend five minutes spankin' it on the stealth? What if you're wasting three hours on espn.com? What about trolling messageboards all morning? How about taking a four hour lunch and shopping around for plane tickets? That all sounds unrelated to work, to me.

Like, getting busted for watching a quick porn vid, vs my boss checking my internetz history, and seeing one of the scenarios above, does it even matter? Isn't wasting time the same as wasting time? Who is my boss to judge me for how I waste my time? A boss's job is to judge you for simply wasting your time. You love penises.

I consider my time-wasting an art. Check out this blog, for example: it's art. It began strictly as a "work thing": and then it evolved into a phenomenaan of awesome. As time went on, I actually spent less and less time on it at work; and now I rarely even touch it at the office. This is primarily because I make so goddamn much money that I can't justify spending any time on something that won't make me rich, pussies.

That's not to say that I don't need little breaks. Heck yeah I do. I ain't above checking my facebook, or gmail, or something. You know, the more I think about it, if for some reason I did get busted watching porn at work, instead of being reprimanded, I think I would expect to be complimented for having a healthy and sexy sexual appetite. Awww yeeaah.

That said, watching porn at work is something I'll never do. BUT, taking some "me time" in the bathroom, well that's a different story. <3 you, ipod touch.

Speaking of porn, and watching it at work, at home, on the airplane, in the bathroom, and at your parents' place, at HYM Inc., there are rumblin's of something called "Marriage Advice Week :)", that I've got planned. I thought it would be a fun idea; cause, uh, I'm uh, getting married in like two and a half months.

1 comment:

Tampa said...

Pron.

If I ever see you with your itouch, I'm running...