Goddamn, had my bachelor party last weekend, Thursday through Sunday. It was a blast. A brutal blast.
Everybody got pretty shitty, but not shitty enough for me to not have a couple beers Sunday night when I got home.
And then go out furiously on Monday night.
And then host a little soiree at our house Tuesday night.
Soooooooo basically what I'm saying is that I've gotten loaded every night for the last week. I'm fucking tired.
REAL FUGGIN' TIRED.
I had to have my good friendz Every Time I Die pitch in a much-needed PUMP for the rest of the week. Just think about that for a second:
Every. Time. I. Die.
Like, they die more than once? What happens after they die?
THIS AWESOMENESS HAPPENS
OK, scratch that, I WAS FUCKING TIRED. That song gets me singing along so furiously, that I PUMPED this song on the way to work, and then it RECIPROCATED - PUMPING ME UP on the way in.
But that PUMP didn't last long. I need more. I need another PUMP fix.
This next little jam is called "The Marvelous Slut". Wait, what? THE MARVELOUS SLUT. DUDE WHAT THE FUCK, MARVELOUS SLUTS PUMP ME UP, THEY SHOULD PUMP ANY REASONABLE PERSON UP I LOVE MARVELOUS SLUTS.
And the song is pretty badass too.
Dude, I'm not gonna lie, I'm still not that PUMPED UP. It's like, I want to be there, I want to be PUMPED, but the partying has taken its toll on me. We need to try one more time.
Truth is, I just can't reach the PEAK PUMP levels today.
The towel has been thrown in.
Maybe next week.
YOU JUST BEEN PUNKED! IM SO GODDAMN PUMPED UP RIGHT NOW THAT I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT MY HANGOVER FOR 6 STRAIGHT DAYS.
LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY. I HAVE A HOT DOG BONER, AND YOU SHOULD TOO.
AND LET'S BE HONEST, HOT DOG BONERS PUMP EVERYBODY UP.