Friday, March 19, 2010

friday fyi

Friday FYI: this chick is probably hotter than you.

Ladies, meet Jamie Eason.

It might even be scientifically proven that she's up to ten (10) times hotter than you. She looks great, and her sense of humor is absolutely-well, who gives a shit about that really.

There is no question that this chick is probably hotter than you. No question. Perhaps you've got a great body, and maybe your face is pretty; but neither have been perfected by a professional make-up team, or photoshopped furiously to perfection.

Ladies, don't feel bad though. I always feel bad whenever I see this dude.

I guess it gives us something to strive for.

Anyway, she is probably scientifically proven to be up to ten (10) times hotter than you. True story, to test my hypothesis, I had to consult not just Heckyeahwoman (she's a scientist), but a panel of her scientist friends (they're scientists too). Since I'm not a scientist, I didn't know quite where to start. Of course, my assumption was to start in the lab; cause that's where science is made, right?

So with reckless abandon, we...I stole Heckyeahwoman's keys to her lab at the University of Florida, and rode my bike over there. The thing is, our scientist friends wanted to help, but they seemed to be more interested in dicking around and dilly-dallying. I didn't have time to take data, write macros, build programs, cherry pick the data that fits my hypothesis, and write up some gay article for publication. Nah, I ain't have time for that.

I had a theory to prove, and I needed it done yesterday. Let's get to work.

Luckily, a couple of our scientist buddies changed their minds at the last minute, and agreed to help. Look above, that's us making science. You can really see the science in the upper-right frame, look as she just pours that concoction on the slide. That's the essence right there.

We slaved away all weekend in the lab - wearing lab coats, using beakers, computers, graphs, extrapolation machines, carrying around dictionaries so we could say big words to each other, and all kinds of other extra bonus scientific stuff. One friend, *****, even offered to bring in his huge centrifuge. After we fired that thing up, the data literally just wrote itself.

That's a great picture of me scientifically examining something scientific, under the old 'scope. Everybody knows that scientists use microscopes.

Ultimately, we wound up accomplishing nothing other than making mixed drinks in vials and beakers. Then we used a Bunsen burner to boil some water. While we couldn't scientifically confirm that chick is hotter than you, we could confirm that whiskey tastes good, even after it's been through the centrifuge for a couple minutes.

1 comment:

Dus said...

haha i think your discoveries are benefiting all of mankind, meatman.