Thursday, March 18, 2010

free pizza

Holy lol @ this little example of assholery.

I work in an office complex - like a whole office park. Just a bunch of office buildings, owned/managed by the same person/company. Those of us in the business world will find this pretty common.

The cool thing is, the owner recently decided to open a lunch cafe in our building. FUCK YEAH, a lunch cafe. It gets better though: they opened a NY Pizza place!

I don't know if you're familiar with "NY Pizza" or not. Regardless, let me quickly explain - but yo, lemme preface this: I'm not from New York; and I don't claim to know real "New York pizza". It just seems that lately a lot of pizza joints have been popping up with "New York" or "NY" in their name. The common denominator I've noticed, besides the name, is that the slices of pizza are generally larger than average. That's it. For the most part, the pizza is all kinds of tasty too.

Now that that's out of the way, lettuce get back to the story.

So we got a NY Pizza in our office building! Like 20 yards from where I work. So awesome, so tasty. They actually have a restaurant location in town, like 10 mins from the office; and they serve a lunch buffet with so many tasty pizzas and pastas that I usually get a boner just thinking about it. Yeah, a boner.

After witnessing the starting of construction in our building like in October, we waited patiently for this shit to get finished, and ultimately open. It was going so slowly - November passed. Then December. Then part of January. The fact that we kept hearing rumblings of it opening "next week", kept us pumped, but continually bummed. The actual construction was seemingly done, what the fuck was the hold-up?

Finally we got confirmation that it would be opening in early February.

Hell froze over, and come one Monday morning, it was open for business! Upon arriving to the office that morning, I couldn't help but notice how good it smelled! They had breakfast sandwiches, featuring my best friend, bacon! I still have yet to partake, but it looks so good. Things are starting off great!

And with any new business opening up, comes the grand opening! Fuck yeah, I love grand openings! As we all know, with grand openings, comes free samples! Notice how I said free samples, not a free lunch for you to stuff your fucking face with, you fat fuck.

After announcing it for a couple days with signs up all over, they were ready to do this shit. Balloons, and a table full of their finest breakfast sandwiches, pizza, pastries, and other shit was a great way to let you know that yeah, you gon get ur nom nom on. Truly a delightful sight. The entire office smelled so good with freshly cooked delicacies all over. Mmmmmm!

Unfortunately, this wonderful event was marred by the actions of a few gluttons.

It's true, the food they put out for all to sample, was co-opted by a horde of animals. What was intended to be a celebration for all to take in, turned into a free lunch for many. I watched in disgust as the soulless marched up to the buffet table, and piled their plates high with free food. Maybe that was the intention, to provide some with a free lunch. But maybe it was just to get a glimpse, or a taste, of the awesomeness of the potentiality of sharing a lunch-dining experience with our new NY Pizza cafe.

I would lean towards the latter.

From my pedestal, I looked down upon the greedy masses as they consumed and consumed and consumed. Yeah I grabbed a slice of pizza, and enjoyed it furiously, along with the rest of my lunch that I packed that day.

But what I gotta know is, can you live with yourself, after all that free pizza you ate?

Unrelated: I'm watching our skinny bald ferret follow the chubby albino one around, sniffing her butt as they walk their way around the living room.

1 comment:

Tampa Shitbricker said...

Wat's wrong with you. FREE is the best four letter word in the English language. Other than that other four letter word that starts with F and ends with UCK.

FREE PIZZA? Imma get my glutton on bre.