Tuesday, March 16, 2010

4 reasons we get ripped off

Oh hey peeps, peep this: recently, I read an article about why we get ripped off, like when we're buying stuff. My initial response was, "we get ripped of because we signed on the dotted line without even thinking twice about it". Seems plausible, right? It IS plausible, pussies.

But leave it to the liberal hack retards at msn.com to blame somebody else for your getting ripped off. Or for anything lol. Yes, you read that right. In a situation where nobody is doing the purchasing but you, they are blaming SOMEBODY ELSE for you buying a shitty thingamabobber.

Ok, they do place some blame on the consumer with the first bullet point, but that olive branch of common sense is quickly negated by 3 more tear-filled bullet points. Whatever, let's take a look at this banality.

1. We suck at math - ok, this first bullet point makes the article worth reading lol. The article just goes on how we, as Americans, are sucking the dong at math...and it's RePuRrCuShInNz in the real world - comparing items in the grocery store, figuring out a tip at a restaurant...and large-scale purchases, like purchasing a car, securing loans, etc. I'm sure you can see the implications. It's like, if you can't do the math, and realize that going to the local porno shop to buy a $25 DVD of an hour and a half of porn is retarded, considering the unlimited free porn on the internet, then you've got some issues, bruh.

2. Sociopaths are everywhere - no shit Sherlock, but does that mean that you have to give them your money? No, it doesn't. So you go shopping for a doohickey, and the sales person tells you that the doohickey, from Brand A, is going to make your wildest dreams come true. Good news, before you went shopping, you consulted your good friend, Google, and they told you that the specific doohickey in question will not make your wildest dreams come true. But it will, in fact, develop an annoying glitch about 6 weeks after you bring it home, and ultimately cease to function within a year of purchase. With that, you tell the salesperson to get lost, as you proceed to procure the doohickey from Brand B. T'ain't nothing a little pre-shopping research can't fix, sucka.

3. Bait and switch capitalism is abundant - lol @ tacking "capitalism" onto a name for a common form of consumer deception. Aside from that obvious misnomer, this is kinda legit. It really sucks to buy something, and then realize there are extra fees, post-purchase. But, there's that whole "reading the fine print" thing that most people glaze over. Surprisingly, the article sensibly uses the example of cell phone companies, as a glaring example. Walking into any cellular store not knowing that you're going to get fucked, is like stabbing your eyes out with a screwdriver, and thinking you're going to be able to see. But anyway, I prefer my tried & true slight modification of "baiting" & "switching". Yeah, it's called "masturbating & switching", a proven method of throwing a lame and cliched joke into a blog post lol.

4. Half the FTC is gone: 20 years ago there were 2k employees, now just over 1k - This is the classic call for someone else to take care of you. Do you want the government tuck you in at night, wipe your ass, and clean your shower for you too? OK, I would like them to clean my shower, but that's it. Maybe my toilet too. And yes I would let Sarah Palin or Cindy McCain tuck me in at night. But holy shit, are you catching this? Part of the reason you're getting ripped off is because of less government lol. Funny, cause with less government, people usually prosper. Just so we're clear here, the author is asking for an entity, with both Medicaid and the USPS on its resume, to talk to you about wasting money. LOL, I thought the point was to NOT go broke. Nevermind the fact that the internet is overflowing with review websites, blogs, and so much information, that it's impossible to make an uninformed decision.

What I want you to take away from this, is that no matter what happens to you, no matter how badly you get the shaft, or how badly you screw yourself, there will always be someone else you can blame.

Here, MSN goes on a crying jag.

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