Friday, February 12, 2010

let's take a journey

A wedding journey.

I'm going to share a sneak peak of our impending nuptials. Often times I share personal stories, funny anecdotes, and great snippets of my life that offer a small bit of insight into who I am. Let me show you who I am.

Truth is, I still feel like I'm not open enough with you, great readers. You deserve better; you deserve more. More of me.

That's where this blog post comes in. I care about you - I want to give you a glimpse into my personal life. And what better way to do that than sharing with you the loving union of a man and a woman?

Please allow me to share with you my vision of our special day. This is how I envision it going down.

I show up to the wedding site, and am awed by how perfect everything looks. After I walked down the aisle, waiting for my future bride, things started off with a scare when Heckyeahwoman was nowhere to be found. Goddamnit, where the hell did she go?

Some of the groomsmen are AWOL too. I don't think she's the type of woman that would let a couple dudes run a train on her. But how can you really, REALLY, know somebody.

Oh! No worries! She'll be heading down the aisle in a minute!

The ceremonywas awesome, the officiant was great, and we had a great turnout. It was a beautiful day, and we had a wonderful outdoor location. My grandma even flew in all the way from Wisconsin! She was a little underdressed though, a bit more casual than we would of liked. Either way, we were glad she came. Oh, and by the way (btw), you can totally tell she's from my side of the family.

After dinner, we got to cut the cake. We did the traditional smooshing the cake in each other's faces, but I gotta admit, it was tough to cut that beautiful cake up. Some of the guests were a little put off, but if they had seen what my original blueprint for the cake was, I imagine they'd be even a little more weirded out. Whatever, preparing to be the great husband that I know I'm gonna be, I compromised with heckyeahwoman, and this is what we've got:

We got a DJ, but he was sucking it up, so I decided to take matters into my own hands. I grabbed my best man, and we went up on the stage and started belting out the classics.

Surprisingly, the crowd was pretty receptive. In case you didn't know, I'm German, and we often speak German. But when I'm bustin' out the hardcore jams, it's all in English baby, what's up.

Errbody was having so much fun, the dance floor was on fire!

Then the happily married couple (us) retreated to the honeymoon suite to consummate the marriage. And by consummate, I mean we watched Maury Povich Show reruns.

Well, that's how I envision everything happening at least.


Tampa Groomsman said...


That's what I'm talkin' about!!

Dus said...

Can't wait to see this all go down, especially the watchin' Maury in the suite part, cause you know I'll be there too.

Hardcore LOL at that Cottonball bitch, hahaha.