We're gonna see if we can get through this HUMP DAY PUMP UP without me posting a video that most of you never watch.
This last weekend, things got EPIC. And when things get EPIC, I get PUMPED UP; cause I love EPIC THINGS.
First thing to get you PUMPED UP is that I had off work on Monday. Me being off work, not working, leaving work, not going to work, leaving for work in the morning and turning around halfway there to head back home, calling in sick, etc...is pretty much the DEFINITIVE PUMP.
I could not type anything else for the rest of this post, and I would be just SO GODDAMNED PUMPED UP, just from the thought of not working. It's not that I hate my job, it's that I hate working. My job is pretty sweet. Well as sweet as being in sales can be.
THAT'S NOT THE POINT THOUGH. The point is - I hate not being PUMPED UP. And thinking about work will do that to me.
Anyway, first PUMP of the long weekend - NOT WORKING ON MONDAY FUCK YEAH.
Friday night, I get home around 5:30, so we can immediately pack, and hit the road. That's right, Heckyeahwoman and I were heading to Orlando for the night. See, we don't have any awesome shopping in Gainesville, so I decided we'd head to Orlando for a full day of suit shopping.
Suit shopping for my wedding.
While stopping at the local petroleum stand to gas up, I bought one of these:
Holy shit it was so tasty, I never want to drink any other soda again. That thing had me PUMPED UP, too bad I was crammed in Heckyeahwoman's little Honda Civic. Bouncin' off the car windows n shit, man.
OK, so we get there about 7:45, and check in. Now we've stayed at this hotel before, and we know that there happens to be a tasty little seafood restaurant on the property. Without even thinking twice, we both wander over and get our grub on. After a huge meal of MAHI MAHI (HOLY SHIT I LOVE MAHI MAHI), and about 8 beers apiece, we retreated back to the room.
To drink more beer.
And we did. We also watched a sweet movie, 12 Rounds, starring John Cena. Dude is so badass.
Chick in that movie is all kinds of hot, too.
I love those shitty action movies where the good guy does all the ass-kicking. Could have used some boobie shots though.
We wake up Saturday morning, and ruh-roh, Heckyeahwoman needs coffee! Knowing how she gets if she doesn't get coffee ASAP, I grab the keys and head to the 7-11 down the road.
BUT OH SHIT
Out of the corner of my eye, something catches me, it's a MCDONALDS! FUCK YEAH WE'RE ON VACATION MICKEY D'S BREAKFAST UP IN DIS BIT.
I got like 8 breakfast sandwiches, like 12 hash browns, and lol I actually got 4 coffees. Wait, what?
So when I'm ordering the coffees, I asked for a couple packets of splenda and a couple creamers. Dude rings in 4 packets of each, for each cup of coffee, no biggie.
After pulling up to the window, and getting handed the coffees, I see something dripping out of one of the lids. Something almost creme colored.
Wait a second, did they put the cream and sugar in there already? You bet they did.
"Um, excuse me sir, did you put the creme and sugar in there already"?
"I'm really sorry, but this isn't going to work, we need those coffees black. There's no way Heckyeahwo-we just need them black. I'm sorry about that".
So he grabs 2 black coffees for me, and I'm on my way, with the 2 cream & sugar syrupped coffes too lol.
This is getting kind of long, so I'll start putting the wraps on it. We NOM NOM NOM, check out and hit the mall. At the first stop, the first suit I tried on was the one I ultimately wound up purchasing, at the last store we went to for the day lol. Whatever, they had the best deals for me.
Our plan was to attack 5 stores in each of the two malls. After wrapping up at the first mall, we headed to the second. It was there that we decided we needed to eat. OH YEAH, SHITTY CHINESE FOOD AT THE MALL FOOD COURT FOR LUNCH PUMPED UP!
We NOMM'd on that furiously then I went to the last store, and bought the suit. Pretty bad ass suit.
That's it, we got what we came here for, so we took off on our way back to Gainesville. Of course we didn't get home without eating dinner at 5 GUYS BURGERS AND FRIES in Ocala! Then getting some Coldstone ice cream immediately afterward!
Upon arriving home at about 9ish I think, we slammed a shitload of beers, and then got up early the next morning for a Valentines day fancy brunch where we ate furiously and got all you can drink mimosas and bloody marys.
Just in cased you missed that, that's 5 straight meals of eating out. Not just eating out, but eating arguably the worst food for you, ever.
That McDonalds-Chinese-5 Guys-Coldstone run is damn near legendary.
As much as I hate to admit it, all that shitty horrible food PUMPED ME UP. And then when I remember I didn't have to work on Monday, my head almost exploded.
No time for a metaphor today, this thing is long enough. Go kick the shit out of the rest of the week/your kids.