Very few things pump me up more than going to see my friends' bands live. Ok, a lot of things pump me up more than that, goddamnit I'm almost 30. But seriously, it's awesome - you get a nice local show, with a friend's band headlining, and you're just hanging out. But then you start hanging out with your friends.
That are in the band.
And all the groupie sluts that follow them around, are now following you around too.
That's what happens when Solidarity came through Gainesville a couple years ago. I knew a couple of the dudes from back in my days in Eau Claire. So naturally, when they toured to my part of the country, they needed a place to crash.
SO I TOLD THOSE PUSSIES TO CRASH AT MY PLACE. After I checked in with Heckyeahwoman, of course.
I made sure to let the entire venue know that, "yo, I know the band, pussies". I was grabbin' merch, actin' a fool, cursing at the promoters, it was awesome.
Then they played these songs:
It was awesome because then they played these next couple songs.
And dude, I was so PUMPED by the end of the set, that we drove back to my place, AND ALL THE DUDES NEEDED A SHOWER, SO THEY USED MY BATHROOM, AND BY THE TIME THE LAST GUY SHOWERED HE SAID THE HOT WATER WAS GONE BUT I DIDN'T GIVE A FUCK CAUSE I WAS SO PUMPED AND THEN AFTER THEY WERE ALL DONE, I WENT IN TO TAKE A LEAK AND NOTICED THAT MY TOWEL LOOKED WET, AND THINKING ABOUT HOW I HADN'T HAD A SHOWER FOR A WHILE I WENT OUT AND CONFRONTED THE BAND AS A WHOLE, AND ASKED WHICH ONE OF "YOU SLIMY MOTHERFUCKERS USED MY TOWEL?" AND WHEN ONE OF THE DUDES OWNED UP, I JUST SMILED AND SAID , "NO BIGGIE (MOTHERFUCKER)".
Oh guess what - I have another friend in a band. GD right. I never got to host his band at my place, but you better believe I hosted him a couple times.
This is not said friend's band, but he sent me this link:
NICOLAS CAGE IN A BEAR SUIT
PUNCHING A BROAD
BUT YO, CHECK OUT HIS BAND, THIS SHIT GETS ME PUMPED UP
WATCH THE SKINNY DUDE THAT LOVES THE CUBS DANCE AROUND WITH THAT AWESOME HAND GESTURE DANCE THING THAT HE DOES HOLY SHIT THAT'S HOW REAL BALLERZ REACH REAL BALLER STATUS FUCK YOU
Quick story, one time he stayed at my place, and after wining and dining his azz in DOWNTOWN GAINESVILLE FLORIDA, we went back to my place to get a couple dranks and see what was up for the night. So anyway, I get myself a whiskey on the rocks, and ask if he wants some whiskey. Obviously he's not an idiot, so he replies affirmatively.
As I hand him the glass of whiskey on the rocks, he kind of looks at it retarded, then at me retarded, then at it again, retarded, and then at me again, retarded.
"That's whiskey dude, that's what you wanted, right?" I ask.
"Oh yeah, I just usually DON'T DRINK IT STRAIGHT YOU FUCKING PUSSY", he replies.
"You want something to mix it with, bruh?"
"Nah I'm good, thanks man".
And with that, that's how we face the rest of this shitfilled week we got starin' back at us. It may not be what exactly we want; but you know what, we're all far too PUMPED UP/COKED UP/STRUNG OUT ON HEROIN/CHIEFED to really give a shit. Slam the rest of this week like my homeboy slammed that whiskey.