Monday, January 4, 2010

an xmas treat to (and from) me

Wow, welcome to 2010, pussies. Get killed.

No but seriously, my new year's resolution is to do more awesome things like I'm about outline below.

If you've been reading, you know that we had Xmas at our place this year. Heckyeahwoman's family flew in - this included her parents, and both her sister, and her sister's boyfriend. They were all a pleasure to host, and have over.

Which might be why doing what I did, what I'm about to explain, might not make sense.

Having two (2) bathrooms in our place, both of us used Heckyeahwoman's (fuck yeah, it was clean and actually smelled good); while I scrubbed mine furiously, and the sister and boyfriend used mine. No worries, I actually got it pretty clean. Though some of the skidmarks on the toilet didn't want to go away.

Trying to be hospitable, I offered up clean (lol!) towels, soap, shampoop, whatever they needed. Turns out, a couple days into their stay, the boyfriend decided it was time for a haircut. So the sister wound up giving her boyfriend a haircut. Pretty cool, a little DIY action. No problemo, here's a scissors, go to town. Oh yeah, you need clippers too? I got dem 2.

So they gettin' they haircut on, and when the finish, homeboy wanted to trim his beard. Oh word? Naturally, I got up to grab him my little trimmer thing. 'Cept the thing is, I have two different sets of trimmers: one for my facial hair, and one, well, not for my facial hair.

Actually for my BALLS.

Not knowing what he was going to do, behind closed doors, in my bathroom, with my trimmerz, I went ahead and gave him my non-facial hair trimmer.

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA OWNED!

But his beard looked great all trimmed up!

Finally on the last day, they were getting ready to shower before they took off, and while his beard looked nice and cleaned up, he started to grow some stubble, and needed a shave. You know who he goes to, for all his facial hair and shaving needs, right?

Chyeah, that's right, ur boi.

Digging through my bathroom stuff, and then finally handing him a slightly used razor, "here ya go man, here's the only unused one I have".

Always polite, and always the gentleman, he replies, "nah it's cool man, I don't want to use your last razor, man".

Don't worry, I ensured him it's cool, and before long he was shaving away, without a care in the world. With the razor that I usually DON'T USE ON MY FACE IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!

HAHAHAHAHA SORRY BUDDY!

They went on to leave that day, and when I got home from work, it was bittersweet coming into a much emptier apartment. Yeah it was great to walk around in just my low-rise, bikini-cut, men's underwear, but it was also a blast having them around.

It was weird, after I got home, I showered, and went onto the computer to check my internet electronic mailz, and after the screen saver went away, I noticed the website that they left up on my computer. Totally not the type of site that I imagine they would frequent - it was obviously a parting gift for me.

How nice of them to leave http://resist.com on my computer for me! A great white power site!

It's funny, we only spent like a week together, but it sure didn't take them long to get to really know me.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE, MOTHERFUCKERS - HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ***!!! Here's a special HECK YEAH, MAN birthday wish for you.



Happy Birthday!

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