Friday, January 22, 2010

word of the day

Every Tuesday morning at work, we have a meeting. At 8 AM SHARP.















Don't be late, motherfuckers.

I like 'em; but then again, very rarely am I ever late for work. It pisses me off so much, I hate when people are late. Nothing says, "I don't care", like showing up late. Well unless you actually say, "I don't care".

But yeah, the meetings, I do like them. Rather, I like the idea of them. The thing is, sometimes they go on a bit too long; as some conversations that should be held between just a couple people, are held between the entire company. BO-RING

BO-RING, not BO-NER.

So whatever, 15-25 mins of my morning, every Tuesday, is/are spent in these meetings.

And every week, we end them with a word of the day.

Whoever is leading the meeting that day will pick someone out, usually at random, and have them offer up a word of the day. The meeting ends when we all gather around in the middle of the room, put a hand in, and then we yell the word of the day. Louder than thunder, we yell the word of the day as we raise our hands and fists to the sky. Kinda hokey, but it's a nice touch.

However, this week a dude interrupted, and suggested his word of the day. He went about how he had something to say. Keep in mind, this guy is a pretty funny dude - well, as funny as you can be at work, in a G-rated environment, with the entire company surrounding you.

I don't think there has been a person in this world, that does not like this guy. That's why I was so surprised at his word of the day.

So anyway, the floor is now his.

Telling some anecdote how he saw a bunch of troops fly out of an airport, he wanted to acknowledge them, and what they do for our country. Ok, that's fair. Going on, he wanted to point out all of our freedom, right here in 'Murica, and how the troops are responsible for that...like the troops are fighting some oppressive force that is trying to hard to enslave us or something.

















Ok
, yeah, the armed forces were responsible like 200 years ago, that's for sure. And then maybe again like 100 years ago, but you could debate it either way. Then of course again like 65 years ago, but please go on.

Oh god, and here it comes. Now he's talking about how the troops are making it safer for us here, and safer for the people of Afghanistan, and how they're fighting for freedom over there. Lol, I'm not sure what the Iraqi's would have to say about that.

The thing is, he wholeheartedly believed that. There was nary an inflection of doubt, as he stood steadfast to his words.

Scarier still, other people actually believe that. Like lots of people.





















But anyway, I put my hand in the middle, and when everybody yelled together the word of the day, I yelled, "nation building!"

I don't know, I thought it was pretty funny.

Man, I fully support the troops, just not what they're doing, or why they're doing it.

Truth is, it really got me thinking about the bigger picture. Within seconds, my mind was drifting to more important things, like "how soon can I get some massive boobies closer to my face, and how much is it gonna cost?"

"A Chik-fil-a chicken biscuit thing sounds amazing right about now; but it's unfortunate that the closest one is like a half hour away."

"I need to think of an excuse to skip working out after work, so I can go home and start drinking right away. Shit, I'm out of whiskey."

"This might make a pretty shitty idea for a blog, but by the time I get to next week, I'm going to need something, anything, to post for Friday."

"Just the thought of a Chik-fil-a chicken biscuit thing, combined with the previous talk about the troops and freedom - I think there's gonna be a bloody war in my bowels, with a little bit of it spilling out into my drawers."

"Oh god, I think that was a wet one"

"I need to get back to my desk so I can continue posting some of the dumbest shit ever, on twitter, and on my bloGODDAMNIT, I have a boner again."

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