Tuesday, January 26, 2010

smart people / is this what jaded is?

Here's the thing: I hang out with a lot of smart people. People that are going to be doctors. It takes real brains to be a doctor, man. Real brains, as opposed to fake brains. One time I saw a jello mold that was in the shape of a brain.

On the other hand, I've seen some pretty big fucking retards become doctors, so maybe that's not the best barometer of truly how smart somebody is. Dude, whatevs, I know smart people.

Do you know smart people?

If so, do you know what they do? Do you know the single most defining characteristic of a smart person?

Ok, I'll help you out: they use big words.

They use words that normal peonz, like ur boi, don't regularly use. Words like "superabundant", "unencumbered", and "ebullient". One time I even overheard some dude talking about using a plethysmograph. I don't know what that means, but I think it might be some kind of crazy hi-tech device from the future.

That may or may not measure dudes' dongs

Also, smart people effortlessly throw around words like "jaded". Totally heard a smart person call somebody else jaded. Not sure what they were talking about, but it sounded academic and prestigious...and straight out of a piece of fine literature. Truthfully, I don't even totally know what that word means. I mean, I know, I have an idea, but if you asked me to define it, I'd tell you to get fucked. *(author's note: I'd tell you to get fucked anyway)

So I'm going to pose a question: is this what jaded is? Read the following passage, and tell me if that's what jaded is.

I have a hot fiance, so this post is really no longer relevant, but I think it's something that needs to be brought to light.

Regarding hot chicks: if I were single, I don't even think I'd see them as human any more. It would be more like seeing them as dollar signs.

Dollar signs, as in...how much is this gonna cost me?

How much am I gonna have to pay to blast this chick? How much would it cost for this trick to put out a little?

It's pathetic really; I couldn't imagine being single. I couldn't imagine having to put effort into trying to get laid. I'd honestly rather just tell some skank how much money I make, and wait for the corresponding price.

Let's be real here. Lol, as opposed to being fake, or not existing at all, or being made entirely of plastic or something silly. But seriously, I'm here at the bar by myself, flashing some money, buying bitches drinks. What the fuck do you think I'm doing?

You're here with a group of friends. Allay'all are wearing heels & short skirts, showing mad cleave, and generally looking like you need to get pounded.

Let's cut to the chase - you got the goods, I got the green.

How horrible and jaded is that?

2 comments:

TAMPA GODDAMIT said...

Nice!

I thought this was gonna be a post about gardening.

;-)

Winkin' at u thru da innernets.

Anonymous said...

its true. jade is green