Friday, January 8, 2010

crazy facebook status of the day

I was lurkin' ex-girlfriends on facebook the other day, when all of a sudden I came across something crazy. Something mindblowing. Something so fucked up that I knew there needed to be a blogpost about it.

I saw some chicks ridiculous facebook status.

Check this insanity out:

"Buckle up, people of the most High God, this is going to be an incredible year of miracles, favor, and supernatural acceleration! All you need to do is keep on believing!"


SUPERNATURAL ACCELERATION?!?!?!?!

CAN I CAN SUMMA DAT FOR MY CAR, PLZ?

First things first, what the fuck does that even mean? The only logical conclusion that I can draw from this is something something, GHOSTRIDE THE WHIP.



Ok, in all seriousness though, let's break it down for all you sane people out there. Cause like, after I read it, I was like, "wtf, ho?". Yeah, that's right: question mark, quotation mark, period. For real, I had to read it like three (3) times, and even then, the only thing I could get out of it was that I needed to make a blogpost out of it.

Moving from crazy talk, straight into real talk, "Most high God"? Does she mean "the lord he who smoketh the most weed"?

Still lollin' @ that supernatural acceleration.

And then someone commented on one of her other facebook status sermons:

Happy day of your first birth, for sure. But that second birth is what really counts. Thank God for 2 birthdays! Amen!

WHAT THE FUCK, I WANT TWO (2) BIRTHDAYS. PEOPLE ARE CRAZY.

Wait, I actually had two (2) birthdays. Yeah, that's right, my parents are divorced, so I had a birthday with my mom, then a birthday with my dad. It was awesome. Then I had two (2) Christmases too. Did Jesus have two (2) Christmases? Don't think so.

What's up Jesus.

I'm going to assume those facebook retards don't have divorced parents, and never had two (2) birthdays.

And holy lol @ "first birth" though. Yeah yeah, I know he's talking about some reawakening, born-again bullshit, but goddamnit dude, you only get born once.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SlTvSUCCqPo

Dus said...

GHOST RIDE THE WHIP?

i have no idea whats going on, but i think i like it.