Monday, December 21, 2009

the stalker, part 1

No, not this "the stalker"

Now that that's cleared up, let's talk about the time I had a creepy stalker/weirdo situation at work.

It was at my previous job; I was selling copy machines. That sucked, but the story I'm about to unleash made it all worth it.

So this dude from marketing, kinda weird, gave a few people around the office Christmas gifts. I was among the lucky recipients. My gift was just a package of dress socks. Whatever, the dude was weird, but it was a nice gesture. I thought nothing of it.

A week later, he invited a couple of us over to his place to play some cards. Arriving there first, I made some awkward conversation until everybody arrived. Once people started showing up, it started getting a little less weirder. We played some poker and blackjack; and the dude got a little drunker. Finally he got pretty tore up and he started telling us how he was a "warlock", and can put curses on people.

Uh, ok dude.

Then he busted out the tarot cards, and starting doing that shit. By now we were kinda weirded out, well even more weirded out lol. He starts talking some gibberish about the tarot cards, and being a warlock, and then things got REALLY FUCKED UP.

He revealed that he was gay, and enjoys relations with men. I'm glad he clarified for me, because I didn't know that gay men enjoy relations with other men.

But that's not the f'ed up part. The f'ed up part was when he offered to do things to me that I usually pay chicks to do. Think about that. Yeah I'm serious.

After politely declining, I see my buddies getting kind of nervous for me, and giving me the head nod, like, "let's get the fo out of there".

I was totally cool with that.

So we ducked out, thanked him for having us over/being weird, and went home. Yeah, things were kind of weird, especially at the end there, but we all survived lol. Not many of the guests drank, as we all lived kinda far away, and we ain't wanna be drankin' and drivin' in Milwaukee. Walking to our cars, we chuckled about the stories we'll have to tell our buddies that weren't around, on Monday morning.

The next day at the office, we were talking about the festivities from weekend, and some of the dudes that couldn't make it were informed of how weird things got. Somehow, somebody - not me - was recounting the story, and right when he said the word "WARLOCK", the creepy dude walked by.

He had to have heard.

This is when things get EVEN MORE FUCKED UP.

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