Thursday, December 24, 2009

i guess it's almost christmas

It's already the 22nd or whatever, so close to X-mas, and I've barely even mentioned the holiday. HOLY CRAP.

Most of you probably aren't aware of the awesomeness of the punk band, The Vandals. Lucky for you, I'm here to remedy that. Check out this vid of this awesome song, "My First X-mas as a Woman".



Oh, don't like punk rock? You're not a fan of awesome? You're a worthless, obese tub of shit? Then read the lyrics, penisleech:

With Christmas upon us it's time to be honest
and follow my dreams and to face
a life of delusion and gender confusion
no longer will be the case

I never wanted army men or basketballs,
I only wanted pantyhose and Barbie dolls
And dressing up in mother's clothing.

My whole life I've been feeling only feminine
It always seemed so useless trying to be a man
Now that's a ghost of Christmas past

Now it feels like the very first time,
cuz it's going to be the very first time,
that Christmas feels right to me.

And I know that I'm looking good
Just like a real girl should-
It's my first Christmas as a woman

A doctor reconstructed my genitals
And now I'm waiting underneath the mistletoe
for a guy who could love a girl like me.

I took the hormones and I got my breasts
This season's gonna be the best
to me.

I won't have to tuck it behind me
Since I got my brand new vagina
It's my first Christmas as a woman.

Chop if off! Chop if off! Chop if off!
My penis, chop it off
It's no use to me.
Cut it off!
Chop it off! Chop it off!
My penis, cut it off so I can finally be
A Woman...

Now I'm finally happy cuz I made my goal
to be a post operation transsexual.
now I'm a pretty lady

Now it feels like the very first time,
cuz it's going to be the very first time,
that Christmas feels right to me.

Cuz I know that I'm looking good
Just like a real girl should-
It's my first Christmas as a woman

Come back tomorrow for the last HUMP DAY PUMP UP before the holidays!

1 comment:

Tampa said...

I'm guessing this post was for Tuesday. Goddamit. Now I'm going to give my son his gifts two days late.

Thanks for messing up Xmas HeckYeahMOTHERFUCKERMan