Thursday, December 10, 2009

heckyeahwoman's xmas party

I told you yesterday that a bunch of awesome stuff happened last year at heckyeahwoman's xmas party.

Holy shit I don't even know where to start.

The xmas parties are generally pretty rowdy, and go pretty late - till like midnight or maybe even one (1) in the morning lol.

So we drive over at whatever time, maybe like 9, with plans to just leave our car, and cab it back with another couple that lives close to us. It all started like a normal party: drinks, hors d'ouveres, and people chit-chatting. Jesus, it probably took a good hour or two of small talk before people started getting tore up, and the awesome stuff started happening.

By like midnight, our good friend is pretty loaded and he's getting sloppier'n shit. With his girlfriend and I trying to feed him water, he starts finally soberin-aw who the hell am I kidding, he's not sobering up at all, he's fucking hammered. So with a glass of water, I make my way over to give it to him. Seeing this, he reaches for the glass, and between my semi-drunken hand off to him, and well, it was totally my fault, the glass goes CRASHING TO THE FLOOR.

Water everywhere.

All of a sudden he lets out a drunken, gargantuan, "GREAT, NOW EVERYBODY'S GONNA THINK THAT I DID IT!!!!"

And just like that, the party stops. Time stops. Everything stands still. People are looking at us like we just killed a kitten or something. Thinking quickly, I announce to the whole party that it was my fault.

To this day, we still laugh about that.

It was a nice night, so a lot of people hung out on the porch where it wasn't too cold. That, and the keg was out there lol. The bathroom window overlooks the porch, but worry not, the blinds were closed. However, the window itself was open, so you can hear whats going on outside when taking a leak. Hell some people on the porch may have even heard me torch that poor little toilet on numerous occasions.

Taking a leak, I happen to hear a woman's voice making disparaging comments about me. Wait, that's heckyeahwoman. I don't remember exactly what she was talking about, but she had some choice words for ur boi. It makes you wonder what else is said when I'm not around.

After listening for about a minute, I make my presence known: "I CAN HEAR YOU!" I say through the open window. This was met with sudden silence, and then awkward laughter, from everyone out there on the porch.

A year later, this story has probably been told 10 times.

And now for the crown jewel of the night:

The party is winding down, and we're trying to wrangle a cab, so now it's just a waiting game - just hoping they decide to show up.

The cab finally comes, and I gather everybody together. Piling into the cab, it's heckyeahwoman in the front, and the other couple & myself in the backseat. I don't totally remember what happened, but I know there was some drunken squabbling, and all of a sudden heckyeahwoman chirps out a "FUCK YOU RICHBOY!"

Excuse me, fuck who? Rich what? Are you talking to me? Fuck you richboy?

I still don't know where that came from, but we all burst into outright laughter. It's insane how much we still talk about that, to this day.

I can't wait for Saturday night!

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