Tuesday, November 17, 2009

maybe more for the 9-5 crowd

I apologize if this post is geared a little more towards the 9-5 crowd, because it does lightly concern my work attire; but it's something that has got to be addressed for my own sanity.

MY OWN SANITY

I don't wear a lot of white clothes. lol omg i hate white people

Maybe I don't wear a lot of white clothes because I don't have a lot of white clothes; and while a necessity, washing them separately is kind of a pain in the ass. Maybe I do a load of whites once every 2 months. That just means that the few times I wear a white article of clothing, it'll sit in my hamper for 8 long-ass weeks.

There's a joke somewhere in there about a load of whites, whatever. On your face, nevermind.

With that said, I have a bunch of white undershirts that I generally would wear under dress shirts for work. One shirt will last maybe 3-4 days before the pit stains show up, and when combined with the natural accumulated veneer of sweat, from wearing it for that long, it gets kind of...uh, gross. I'm talking like 9 hours a day, for almost a week. Shit builds up, bruh.

The point is that my few undershirts, and their lifespan of cleanliness generally doesn't last me long enough before I have to do a load of whites. To put it simply, I run out of white undershirts before I'm ready to do a load of whites.

And no, I'm not wearing dark undershirts, cause what if I wear a white dress shirt? You can totally see that shit underneath. Not cool, I'm a professional.

But here's the rub, every couple months I'd get to the point where It's time to get dressed for work in the morning, and I go to grab a fresh, clean undershirt, and they're all gone.

THEY'RE ALL GONE WHAT THE FUCK.

What the hell am I going to do?

I would almost get into a panic, without an undershirt, and I have no idea why. Like, for some reason, I thought that the undershirt was such an essential piece of my professional attire, that I wouldn't even imagine going to work without one.

Seriously?

Like, just not wearing an undershirt for a couple days honestly never crossed my mind as a viable option. It honestly felt like life and death.

What the hell is wrong with me? Some have called me a fatalist before. I never really believed it until now.

As an aside, please don't get the impression that ur boi is unclean. Far from it, I'm the cleanest, best dressed son of a bitch (not you mom, just a saying) in my entire building. I could go on about my dry cleaning habits, but at this point, I think we may have alienated most of the non-9-5'ers out there.

Rest assured though, non-9-5'ers, tomorrows post is gonna PUMP YOU UP, YOU FUCKING PUSSIES.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yeah, so that "Small-Medium-Large" setting on your washer is for washing small loads without wasting energy.

Love,
Al Gore

PS - lol small loads

heck yeah, man said...

FUCK YOU AL, I would have commented earlier, but I was out buying motor oil by the gallon, and pouring it on any green grass I could find.

Dus said...

the white shirt dilemma is so true, i start freaking out when there's only 1 left in the drawer. The TRUF. Best post so far IMHO.