Monday, November 23, 2009

everything is going as expected

Hey, I hope everybody had a great weekend, I know I did. It was a blur; and after going to bed Saturday night, somehow we managed to sleep for 13 hours by the time we woke up Sunday morning.

After Sunday morning comes Sunday afternoon; then comes Sunday evening, then Monday morning. And Monday morning, I go to work, which is where this blog was inspired from.

A week ago we got this new contract entry system. I was pumped, it was supposedly going to streamline how we write our contracts. For those of you not in the business of doing business, these contracts are what we have our customers sign so that we're legally obligated to provide them with our services; and they're legally obligated to pay for said services.

Anyway, our previous contract system was very simple, that included a whole bunch of fields that were filled with auto-fill, and overall it was pretty simple and easy to use. So I was a bit suspicious how they could streamline it, but nevertheless, I was pumped to have it made even easier.

We started a series of webinar training sessions a couple weeks before the official launch-date, and my first impression was, "holy shit", this is the bulkiest piece of shit I've ever seen. Whatever, most things look difficult at first, and just take a little getting used to. I'm not opposed to change (except when it's bullshit "change we can believe in" that isn't really change at all, but rather more of the same). Despite the fact that it easily TRIPLED the time I spend creating contracts, a simple contract was pretty easy to type up and put together.

Not sure if you caught that, but my time spent creating a contract was TRIPLED. I'm in sales, and I'm pretty sure that they would want to make MORE time for SELLING, rather than MORE time spent on PAPERWORK. That's right, somebody thought it was a good idea for me to spend MORE TIME doing PAPERWORK, than SELLING. Also worth noting is that if the contract was a little more complex, and involved any type of deviation at all, it was nothing short of a huge goddamn headache.

Multiple times last week, I literally spent 45 minutes creating one fucking contract. I'm embarrassed. Not for me, but for the dude who proudly created this.

A week after the new system went live, there were a shitload of problems, and not one of the problems stemmed from user error, but from - to put it simply - a new, unfortunate system that is a real piece of shit.

Luckily for us, the brains behind this system sent out an email addressing the numerous issues we've had! What did he have to say? Well other than a whole bunch of bullshit, he said that "everything is going as expected".

His exact words.

Wait, what?

You expected all these issues and problems? You expected to this to be one of the biggest fuck ups, ever? Then why not fix the problems, and launch it at a later date? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? You effectively just sent this aspect of our company back 10-15 years, by creating, and implementing this horrible system.

I don't know, I've only been involved in business for 5 years. But I thought the point of having a business was to make money. You would think that by making your workers' everyday tasks easier, simpler, and able to be completed more efficiently, that as a result - you'd make more money.

Maybe I've been going about this all wrong.

Maybe I'll change the way I do things.

From now on, I'm going to try to find the most arduous, strenuous, and ridiculous way to complete any of my given tasks. And you know what? In order to look like an even bigger dipshit, I'm going to do it all this wearing this costume:

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