Thursday, October 29, 2009

ugliest chick ever, other stuff

Every day for some reason, on my ride home from work, when I get into town, heading South on 6th St, about from the point at which I head right past the cop shop, until I get to SW 2nd Ave, I look at the person driving every car that's going the other way past me.

I don't know why.

It's a 2 lane road, and for those 2-3 blocks, it's like bumper to bumper traffic the entire time. I manage to look at every person I pass, assuming they don't have really dark tinted windows.

Like, I try not to make eye contact or anything, I just try to see who's driving. I guess I've always been a people watcher. Maybe I should keep my eyes on the road lol. Some would call it a glance, other's would call it a child molester's leer; I would call it eyeballing.

Let's see, the time I'm going to tell you about, I think was last Thursday, when a couple noteworthy things happened.

First, right as my light was about to turn green, to cross University, I see some chick in an older station wagon running the yellow light, to make a left turn. I managed to glance at her, and I don't know, but the first thing that popped into my head was, "that was the ugliest chick I've ever seen".

I can't really describe her, I know she had glasses, shorter blondish hair, and looked kind of nerdy. The more I think about it, she wasn't really that ugly. Maybe "homely" would be a better word.

Actually, she was kind of decent looking. Maybe it was her ugly car that gave me such a bad taste in my mouth. Well, the shitty beef jerky I was snacking on was what gave me the sour taste in mah mouf. It was probably just the total package that turned me off.

Upon coming back into reality from the ugly chick episode, my ears suddenly became in tune with what was playing on the car stereo.

It's true, I was INSANELY PUMPED UP, and it wasn't even HUMP DAY. After starting the day off ready to explode, then getting beat down by a day at work, I was back at FULL PUMP, totally unexpectedly.

My car was a little faster, the sun a little brighter, my arms a little bigger. I was so pumped that I didn't even realize that I was gripping the steering wheel so furiously; that I was squeezing the life right out of it.

Being so pumped up, I knew I had to get home and go on a bike ride. It was destiny. Got home, changed, coerced heckyeahwoman into going with me, and just like that, the 16 mile journey began. It's funny it's mostly bikers on the trail, and just like in a car, you usually stay on the right side of the trail, and pass on the left. It's polite to generally warn whoever you're about to pass by saying something, alerting them that you'll be passing them.

We come up on two slores, walking in the middle of the trail. Most people naturally hear a biker coming up behind them, and instinctively move over to the right of the trail. Not these boxes, they move to the left a little. To the left? Where I'm heading to pass you?

I damn near ran them over. Seriously, I let these skanks know we were comin' up behind them, and then they move right into our path. Squeezing my brakes, I nearly skid my head right into one of their boobs lol. Lol at almost running this twat over.

Then she has the nerve to give me a snippy, "choose a side". So I gave her a, "get killed, whore".

After blowing my them, we wound up having a nice little ride, without further incident. Then, on our way back home, we saw them again, walking to their car. Brazenly pointing them out to heckyeahwoman, I loudly tell her, "look, it's those whores I almost ran over before".

Nice little Thursday.

1 comment:

Justin said...

Nice little Sweater Vest Thursday, you mean, motherfucker...