Monday, October 19, 2009

the starbucks man-hoverer

I had just flown into town, and finally arrived back home later on Saturday night. It felt good to be back home, for sure. Had a nice little chilled out night. With my good friend whiskey.

Waking up earlier than I would have liked on Sunday morning, I had to eliminate. Really bad. Words can't describe the euphoric state I found myself in, as I sat on the terlet, and abused the porcelain. Pure ecstasy, friends.

Ok, so while I was duking, and heckyeahwoman was sleeping, I thought it would be nice to walk down to the coffee shop, and grab a VENTI AMERICANO for her. You know, cause I'm a good guy and shit.

Unfortunately, when I emerged from the toilet-cave, she was already up, and had just started brewing some coffee of her own. Informing her of my now spoiled plans, I see a smile spreading across her face as she reaches from across the living room and turns her coffeemaker OFF.

I take that as a sign that she would rather have a VENTI AMERICANO, so I put on some clothes, and head down there.

Entering the Starbucks, I see a longer-than-desired line forming. I WAS PISSED. While I waited, I browsed the counter full of tasty looking pastries. I wound up purchasing a pumpkin cream cheese muffin thing, but more on that later. Well, maybe not more on that.

As I was just standing there eyeballing the pastries, I really paid no attention to the dude in front of me. And than all of a sudden, I realized that I wasn't cognizant at all of my, or the dude's, personal space.

I came to, and I was literally hovering over this dude.

I wonder if he noticed. It should be noted that the dude was not really a leprechaun. I don't know, I just thought it would be cool, if I spiced things up a bit. I also thought it would be cool if I threw in a comma where it didn't really belong in the previous sentence.

But seriously, how weird is that?

After I realized what was going on, I adjusted my personal space accordingly. Then it occurred to me, I looked around at the rest of the line, and I wonder if anyone else noticed this insanity. Everybody had an appropriate amount of space between them, and the next person. Except for me.

I have no idea how long I hovered, or if the dude had any idea. What about the broad behind me? Did she notice? Did she think I was some creepy dude-hoverer?

To add insult to injury, when it was the dude's turn to order, I detected a British accent. Not sure if his country of origin has anything to do with my hovering, but still.

I ordered 2 VENTI AMERICANOS and the pastry thing, and shamefully walked home.

1 comment:

Venti = 20 said...

I like the implication that his (yet to be noticed) accent had somehow caused you to hover ! lol, that would be strange.