Thursday, October 15, 2009

RIP Michael Jackson

I can't believe I managed to not comment on Michael Jackson dying, way way way back in June. Dude, everybody was dying back then. Those were the good old days, man. I wish that shit woulda continued like 3-4 billion more times. Another thing that I also can't believe is that I'm doing a RIP post - even though he died like 3 months ago or something. Or doing a RIP post at all. Whatever, that's not the point. The point is that Michael Jackson passed away. Obviously, his contribution to "pop (what-some-people-call) culture" is undeniable.

I believe it was the New York Times that first reported that Mich-what the fuck was I doing reading the New York Times? What a piece of shit. Next think you know I'll start watching Keith Olbermann. What a humiliating way to kill brain cells. I'd rather be a meth-head than watch that clown.

YOU FUCKING RETARD.

But seriously, Michael Jackson, RIP, kid-toucher.

I guess RIP Farrah Fawcett, Ed McMahon, and Billy Mays too. Since I never gave them their proper post-humous shout out.

What a brutal week for people dying that was. I mean, people die every day, probably close to the rate at which deuces are dropped.

You know, if I really think about it, none of these recently deceased "celebrities" really enriched my life that much. OK, Michael Jackson made the song "Smooth Criminal", and there was an awesome cover by a horrible band". No lie, that song pumped me up.

And one time I almost ordered some Oxi Clean. But then I didn't.

Speaking of other things I almost did, and then didn't do...here is failed blog post idea #27: "discrimination day". I was going to make it a series, most likely once a week, of picking out a different minority, singling them out, and making fun of them.

Sounds kind of cool, right? But check this out:

I was going to skip the usual race, color, & creed thing, cause that's pretty played out. That's right, we're going to eschew traditional discrimination, and go for something a little more unique, and unfortunate.

You know, the more I think about it, just about every day on my blog is discrimination day. I rip on liberals, hipsters, bitches with fake fingernails; and I always rip on FAT PEOPLE. Basically, if you have a huge rack, and it isn't as close to my face as possible, I hate you. Or if you don't have a huge rack at all, I hate you.

So go ahead, go to that job interview this morning. And then when you first meet the goofball you'd potentially be working for, offer up a disgusted chuckle and let him (or her) know, "yeah right, I'm not working for some goon with psoriasis!" as you turn around and leave.

Discrimination at it's finest!