I don't even know where to begin, I really don't. All I know is that the moment I pull my car out of the parking lot at work, it's the best feeling ever, every time it happens. Forget love, forget fake tits, forget burritos, forget buffalo wings, forget everything; I love leaving work on Friday evening.
You may know the old story about the guy who kept slamming his head into a wall. He would do this all day, all night, non-stop. When someone finally asked him why he slams his head into the wall all day, he replied, "cause it feels so good when I stop".
There you have it.
Anyway, back to the weekend - Friday, I picked up some sangria, and other assorted tasty treats on the way home. What a great start to the weekend. We were gonna sample on some sangria, and then walk downtown to get some dinner. Well, the assorted tasty treats threw a little wrench into the plans. Heckyeahwoman was good, and lightly grazed the cheese I brought home. Ur boi, on the other hand, didn't exactly "lightly graze". Nah, it was more of a NOM NOM NOM.
I was pretty full lol. Whatever, we waited an hour and went and got some burritos.
We got back, and watched the movie "Taken". Now that's how you make a movie. The good guy kicks everybody's ass. No lame ending, no bullshit, just a movie the way a movie is supposed to be made. And Liam Neeson kicks everybody's ass.
Saturday turned out to be a pretty epic day. In fact, it was so epic, that I thought about including the day's exploits in a future edition of HUMP DAY PUMP UP. Yeah, it was that awesome.
First, I went and bought a bike.
I BOUGHT A SWEET FUCKING BIKE.
You're goddamn right I did. I'd been shopping around for a while now, and had it narrowed down to two. The owner of the store took me on a ride, so I could check it out, for real. And I liked that shit so much I bought it. Still feeling the high from spending a shitload of money, I furiously rode that thing home. I really wanted to go for a longer ride, but I had another errand to run. Yeah, I had to go to the
FANCY SALON TO GET A HAIRCUT.
I barge into the salon, all squawking, "YO, MAKE ME LOOK LIKE ZAC EFRON, BISH". They weren't amused. It was funny, I had gone on that little bike ride earlier, and got pretty sweaty, so I took a quick shower before I left. We were thinking it would be kind of rude to walk into a fancy salon, all sweaty and stinky. Then lol, the stylist (lol, did I just stay that?), washed my hair again. My hair ended up getting washed like 4 times that day. I don't even think I wash my hands that much.
AND I LOVE WASHING MY HANDS.
So yeah, this was my first trip to a fancy salon. And by fancy salon, I mean hair-cutting place that isn't called Great Clips. This spot was fancy as hell, and came highly recommended by some dude I work with - thanks, ******! I ended up paying like $55 plus tip, for a goddamn haircut, and some hair product thing. Lol, when I checked out, the lady tried to wrap the hair product thing all fancy-like.
"Babygurl, I ain't need it all wrapped up".
After she finished cutting my hair all up, she started to style it. It looked like she was about to throw it into a sick fauxhawk; and yo, my heart skipped a beat. Luckily, I felt a huge swell of relief as she kept on going, and didn't put it into a fauxhawk lol. Of course I still didn't like what she did, so the minute I was out the door, I messed it up, and walked home.
With all the fancy bikes and fancy haircuts, I don't even remember the rest of my weekend.