Monday, August 17, 2009

things have gone wrong

Some of you may be aware that we just moved into a sweet new apartment a couple weeks ago. Unfortunately things haven't been too copacetic at heck yeah, man headquarters. A few things have gone wrong:

When we moved in, 2 electric outlets were not working in the living room. HOW THE FUCK ARE WE SUPPOSED TO PLUG IN THE LAPTOP?

We tried to cook a home-cooked meal one night, but the goddamn stove light was out. Not to be ones hampered by the small shit, we tried to check out the problem. Easily I unscrew the guard thing to check the bulb. No problem. The minute I reach in to unscrew the bulb, it FUCKING EXPLODES. With a "POOSH!", the goddamn bulb just blew up. Of course just the bulb part blew up, but the small screwed in part stayed screwed in. I was/am pissed.

It gets worse: One night I was just innocently doing the dishes, just washing away, man; and all of a sudden a pool of water collects in the sink. Thinking to myself about how much that growing puddle is pissing me off, I realize this shit ain't right. I flip on the garbage disposal, and a stream of murky shit-colored water shoots from out of the drain, and onto the dishes awaiting to be cleaned.

We had just skinned a shitload of potatoes, and I think that clogged it up...you'd think the garbage disposal would be able to handle it. Guess not. I was literally steaming at this point.

Just the other goddamn day I was cleaning my sink out for our guests that were soon to arrive. Everything was going great until I went to plug the drain to wash it out a little, when I hear a "SNAP". And the stink stopper thing stays plugged. IT'S FUCKING BROKE.

Whatever little doohicky that connects the plugger to the little thing you pull to plug it, broke off. FUCKING BROKE. The sink is out of commission. We had guests not only brushing they teeth, but shaving in the kitchen sink. lol

Another thing, we keep finding random, long-ass black hairs every where. Not like pubes, but just long-ass hairs. Neither of us have black hair. That's pretty messed up.

Also, our internetz aren't working either. I've been doing blogs from work, from the hotel on vacation, and the goddamn coffee shop down the road. Holy lol @ going to a coffee shop. It's really pissing me off. The internet cuts in and out, and I haven't been able to check the grammar as well as I'd like to. Lol @ excuses.

And of course the biggest problem I suffer from, not only at our new apartment, but at anywhere I've ever lived: there are never enough tits in my face.

Otherwise everything is awesome.

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