So there I was, just sitting in the lunch room, enjoying not only my delicious and healthy lunch, but also a nice, light conversation with a fellow employee, when it happened. That's right, the resident psychopath walks in, takes a look around, and blindly blames me for the mess in front of the toaster.
Yeah, right in the middle of my lunch.
My first reaction was to ask her if it looks like I'm actively looking for bullshit inquiries about messes in the kitchen. Instead, I told her she was a FUCKING RETARD. OK, I didn't really do that, but here's what went down:
Psychopath (P): You gonna clean up that mess on the counter?
heck yeah, man (hym): What mess?
P: The one over by the toaster.
hym: (getting up to look at the toaster, cause I'm FUCKING PISSED, and I KNOW I didn't use the toaster) - I didn't toast anything. I'm not sure who used it.
P: Well you're the only one eating in here.
hym: I'm pretty sure I used the microwave on the OTHER SIDE OF THE GODDAMN KITCHEN, and like I said before, I didn't use that toaster.
P: Well there's a mess there.
hym: Yes, it appears that way, doesn't it.
P: You made the mess, didn't you?
hym: Look at my food, retardslutwhore, is any of this shit the same color as the shit over by the toaster? By the way, you don't have kids do you, cause they're probably going to kill themselves pretty soon.
Finally she left, and the dude I was talking to, looked at me like, "yo wtf is that bitch crazy?"
And I looked at him like, "yo, that bitch batshit crazy".