Wednesday, July 29, 2009

HUMP DAY PUMP UP: suicide note edition

GET PUMPED UP NOW

Truly Historic



Gag Reflex



No Waves



The name of the band is Suicide Note. That got me thinking, what if I got an actual suicide note sent to me....from like a reader or something. What if a reader got so butthurt, that they wanted to blame me?

How awesome/brutal would that be?

I imagine it would probably go something like this.

Dear heck yeah, man:

I'm going to kill myself. Don't tell my parents, but I'm going to do it Thursday afternoon sometime. I'm not sure when, and I'm not sure how, but I know it'll be quiet so my parents don't hear me; and it'll be sometime before my mom calls me down for dinner.

Then they go on about how I made them cry or something:

Like is hard enough, and then I stumbled across your blog and read your blog about fat people. Well, I'm a fat people, and I get called fat every day. I love oreos. I just can't go on like this anymore.

Here it is - placing the blame. Hopefully they'd be kind enough to namedrop us here.

This is all your fault heck yeah, man blog. The blood is on your hands.

Well actually, if you used a gun, the blood wouldn't be on your hands - cause it would be splattered all over your bedroom wall there, friendo.

I just did a HUMP DAY PUMP UP that included a hypothetical suicide note, addressed to us at heck yeah, man.

THAT PUMPS ME THE FUCK UP.

OK, we're done potentially crossing the line.

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