Monday, July 27, 2009

the darjeerling limited: a review

Last weekend we watched said movie. There really isn't a better way to describe the movie, other than WORTHLESS.

The dialogue was so awkward and shitty, it made Juno look clever. OK, that's not entirely true, cause Juno wasn't clever at all; and it had probably the most forced dialogue I have ever seen. Either way, it was a waste of time. You know who likes these types of movies?

GODDAMN SONOFABITCHES, that's who.

You wanna know why they like shit like this?

Cause they think it's cool.

You wanna know why they think it's cool?

Because Wes Anderson wrote and directed it.

For those of you not in the know, Wes Anderson is a dickhead, and I hate him. In fact, I hate him so much, if I type his name, I'm not going to capitalize it.

Royal Tenenbaums sucked. I've seen this cinematic shitfest twice. I thought maybe I missed something the first time I saw it, and thought it was horrible. Turns out, I was right the first time - it was dually awful the second time.

Life Aquatic sucked. I remember this crap, I actually fell asleep on the floor while this dvd equivalent of knocking my dick in the dirt, played. Seriously, I fell asleep on the floor. Bill Murray needs to stick to Ghostbusters, and driving his golf cart when he's loaded.

He even found a way to make the 13 minute, part 1 of The Darjeerling Limited, Hotel Chevalier, suck. He manages to have Natalie Portman take some clothes off, but you don't even get a nip-slip. Less than 15 minutes of bad acting. Thanks for that.

Bottom line: wes anderson applies liberal amounts of suck to anything he's involved with.

On a lighter note, we (hopefully) will have successfully completed our move yesterday. I'm not exactly sure because I'm writing this Thursday night, cause there's no way I'll be able to pump out any blogs over the weekend. I was hoping to get some good pictures during the actual moving, but that won't happen for two (2) reasons:

1. I packed my camera, and I have no idea where it is, and...

2. I don't want to be the dick (lol, actually I do) taking pictures while everybody else is busting their asses loading and unloading the truck. Besides, that's heckyeahwoman's job.

Big thanks go out to my friends ***** and *** for helping with the move. I feel pretty good, not only did ***** actually leave the house, to come out and help, but *** actually drove all the way up from Tampa that morning - so early. Thanks again guys!

I hope everyone had an awesome weekend! And by weekEND, I mean the END of your life.

2 comments:

***** said...

I will never help you move again.

1) I hope you die in a fiery crash. That would make up for the pain and misery of helping you move this weekend.

2) I hope you save your pennies and have a moving company move your shit next time. Holy fuck!

3) Other than sweating and busting my ass for six hours, I had a great time. So ignore #1 please. I'm sending you some pennies to help with #2.

4) What a cool ass shirt you had on Saturday night! Whoa that was badass!

5) I would like to hear if you shit yourself Sunday. I drove all the way to Tampa with my buzz still on. Needless to say I was a worthless piece of shit all day.

*****!!!!

uncl mike said...

May I suggest the movie Motel Hell.......simply AWESOME!