Tuesday, July 14, 2009

baby on board

We've all seen those "BABY ON BOARD" signs that people have on their cars, right?

RIGHT?


















Well we were out and about down in St. Pete a couple weeks ago, and this crazy dude was swervin' all over the place, hugging the right side of the road, crossing the center line, it was nuts.

We were pretty sure he was loaded. Finally he hits a stop light, and we pull up right behind him. And what do we see?

A "BABY ON BOARD" sticker.

Jesus, I thought the point of this was so people would see you, and that you had a baby in your car, you know, like "precious cargo", or something. You'd think this would cause them to be a little bit more careful when driving.

Lol, or at least not be absolutely tanked while driving. Who knows, maybe there wasn't a baby on board. I tried to get a pic, but I totally forgot my camera.

Forgetting my camera made me so angry that I freaked out and started yelling, sobbing, and slamming my forehead on the dashboard. It was horrible, I was slamming my head in anger so furiously that the glove compartment opened up, and all the shit inside of it spilled all over the floor.

That really set me off, so I grabbed a handful of the shit that just fell out of the glove compartment, and started punching myself in the face with it. Oh I was so pissed off.

So pissed off that I started doing the head bob, that the guys from A Night at The Roxbury do, right into the window. I got in about 15 head bobs before the glass shattered and cut my head pretty badly. The thing is, I didn't just accidentally, or casually, break the window - nah, I slammed the entire right side of my face into it with all the anger I could muster.

Now I'm pissed off and bleeding like crazy. Meanwhile, the dude with the baby on board sticker is swerving all over the place, and I'm HAVING A MELTDOWN HOLY SHIT.

When I was finished with my little temper tantrum there, Heckyeahwoman just kind of looked at me like I was retarded.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

maybe the car was stolen.

Dus said...

Dude i love when you rage.

Also, how many peeps you think clicked on the 'Night at the Roxbury' link like I did? I always wonder when I waste 12 seconds of my life creating a link, "how many muthafuckers are ACTUALLY goin to click on this thing??"

Oh, one more thing... my word verification is 'antshiz'. ANTSHIZ! HAHAHA LOL fo sho. "How did all this antshiz get in my picnic basket??" haha.