Tuesday, June 9, 2009

the dress code

So there I was, just chillin' out at my desk IN MY SWEET FUCKING OFFICE - CAUSE I HAVE MY OWN OFFICE FUCK YEAH, at work on Friday at like 3:30 or something. I'm zoning out on some non-work related website and all of a sudden get startled by the annoying notification my computer sometimes makes when I get a new email.

Oh great, the email is from HR. Did they finally decide to fire me, and announce it via company-wide email on a Friday afternoon? I don't know, but I wouldn't doubt it.

Anyway, I bust open my inbox, and realize I have like 8 other unread messages. Heh, guess I was so zoned out that I totally missed those emails from over the past 2 hours lol.

Yo, but imagine my delight when I peep that HR email, and realize it has nothing to do with me gettin' shitcanned. Whew, that was a close one, not really. So the subject of the email was an ominous, yet succinct, "dress code".

I guess we need a refresher on our dress code. I can't imagine how hard this is for some people to follow. Especially men. How hard is it for a man to wear a collared shirt, dress pants, and dress shoes to work...4 days a week? WHAT THE FUCK. I mean I know it ain't easy to walk into work with a straight face, when you know I'm gonna be all up in there Brad Pittin' it up like woah.

Straight Pittin' out motherfucker.

Yeah, that's right, your boy be wearin' camel-hair socks, the finest silken dress shirts, and the softest puppy-fur dress slacks. Or something like that. What do you expect from the guy who started "Tie Tuesday"? What about from the guy who, in the fall, will be starting "Sweater Vest Vednesday"? Expect only the best, my friends.

Anyway, I wanted to help out, so I whipped up this picture to demonstrate exactly how a man could dress appropriately. Without thinking twice, I immediately forwarded this picture out to everybody in the company.

Then I realized that our corporate headquarters, or parent company, actually has over 60 different companies. I'd hate for them to miss out on my simple dress code diagram.

So I forwarded it to everybody. EVERYBODY.

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