Monday, March 9, 2009

damn, i'm on a roll

Another top ten (10) list? Yeah you bet. Why not?

Here are the top ten (10) things that people pretend to like:

10. You - Did you really think I'd make this list without including you? Oh you did? lol.

9. ipods - ipods are everywhere. Everybody's got one. It's crazy. I was totally against ipods, and I still pretty much am...just because of the fact that the Sandisk Sansa is a superior product, and not to mention, two thirds of the price. Then I bought an ipod touch. This thing is sweet as hell. I love you, ipod touch. I hate you, other every other ipod/ipod users.

8. Apple Products - So what if most of the computers are supposedly superior to their PC counterparts, you still look like a douche, jocking the shit out of a computer. Yeah, you're pimping a computer. I never thought I'd see the day when there is a trendy brand of computer lol. You know what else? U2 sucks.

7. Going Green - What a bunch of shit. Yeah it may be trendy to be all green and shit, and maybe it might get you laid once or twice; but if you can't see through all this 'going green' bullshit hype, you're an idiot. I hope you go green. But first I hope you go blue, in the face, from strangulation.

6. Heath Ledger - Yeah I went there. He's dead. Would everybody be s'in on his d (besides Jake Gyllenhall lol) if he were still alive? He was a fucking junkie loser. I still haven't seen Dark Night, and I'm sure his performance was great, but yo, Jack Nicholson's Joker was >.

5. Skinny Jeans - Seriously? If you're a dude and wearing these, you better be a skinny little shit. If not, there's a good chance you have a beard, a beer belly, and drink PBR like its the fucking antidote; oh, and you probably wear slip-ons.

4. The Hills - This might be the worst show ever. Spencer is possibly the biggest douchebag ever. But, Heidi has big fake titties, and LC is hot. And AUDRINA PATRIDGE. Ok, maybe it's not that bad.

3. Jogging- Straight up, this shit sucks. I can't see how anyone can get any enjoyment out of this. Honestly, jogging is just like a faster version of walking. And walking sucks. I can get behind motherfuckers getting some exercise, but running is the shittiest way to get it. I get it, testing your limits, and pushing yourself. Cool. But if I'm going to 'test my limits' or 'push myself' to the point of pain, you can be damn sure there are gonna be drugs and strippers involved.

2. Shitty Movies - No Country for Old Men comes to mind. There Will be Blood is another. Artsy shit, lolworthy endings, and forced plot twists that ruin an otherwise good movie, just piss me off. Yeah, maybe I'm a simple man. Haha, actually I am. But I'll take mindless action and comedy, over Oscar-jocked crap, any day. One last thing: Slumdog Millionaire, lol.

1. Jazz - I don't know anyone that actually likes jazz. Aside from a few pretentious fucking losers that pretend to like it, I don't know anybody that actively enjoys listening to jazz. Yeah, some people put it on for background music, and some artsy fartsy donghuffers play it on their guitars, but who the hell actually enjoys listening to it?


deez_nutz said...

your blog is so much better than my blog.

Dus said...

6. dark knight was pretty good, plenty of shit blowin up for you to enjoy it heckyeah man. not as gay as brokeback, though.

2. i agree that the artsy-shitty movies do indeed suck, which shouldn't be confused with the fuck'n awesome-shitty movies (see: toxic avenger, freddy got fingered)

1. I sometimes pretend i like jazz, but i really don't know shit about it.