Tuesday, March 24, 2009

a couple weeks ago

I took a crap at a friends house.

Nothing really too noteworthy about it, other than me reading his ESPN The Magazine while squeezing out a couple rabbit turds.

To be completely honest with you, it was a rather unsatisfying experience. I mean, the conditions were great for eliminating waste from my body; his bathroom was clean; and his toilet was comfortable. It was a reasonable temperature in the bathroom, though if I do recall, I did break a mild sweat.

I think the problem stems from the fact that I just wasn't in the pooping mood. I didn't want to have to go potty there. I had things that needed to be done.

To tell you the truth, we were getting ready to go grab some food, and I was genuinely hungry. Unfortunately, my moving bowels delayed us about 10 minutes.

Whenever I poop, I like to hop in the shower quick and get my clean on. I think most guys can identify with me here. Naturally, I try to poop at home whenever I can. This time though, I was at someone else's place. I thought it would be kind of awkward if I took the liberty of just hopping in this dude's shower, and being all, "hey dude, you got any clean towels in here?". lol @ me using both a question mark, and a period there.

I'm sure his response would have been something like, "what the fuck are you doing in my shower?"

And my response would have been, "listen just get me a fucking clean towel before I come out there and shove this fucking plunger in your goddamn face, you son of a bitch".

Alas, none of that dialogue even happened, as I just wiped my ass, washed my hands, and we all went to grab some food.

It was good food too.

1 comment:

MB said...

These two words have revolutionized my pooping experiences as of a year or so ago. - - "wet wipes". amazing stuff