Monday, February 16, 2009

my services have been offered

Some of you may have heard on the news recently about the feud between Sarah Palin and Ashley Judd. If not, let me sum it up for you:

Sarah Palin is a good lookin retard broad that wants to shoot wolves from helicopters. Ashley Judd is a hot ass movie star loser that doesn't want to shoot wolves from helicopters. And they are arguing over that.

It should be noted that, similar to LIONS, SHARKS, ALLIGATORS, & BEARS...WOLVES are the type of animal where if you're not killing it with your bare hands, you don't have any business killing it. That would make you a pussy.

Yes, if you are shooting wolves from a helicopter, you are a pussy.

Anyway, I'm on the Defenders of Wildlife (organization affliated with Ashley Judd) mailing list, and I got an email asking for a donation. The cool part is that the email came from Ashley Judd herself (lol). A real, big-name celebrity emailed me about helping some wolves!

Whatever, some of you may remember a previous post of mine about an email I got from a similar organization...and my selfless offer to help...and then their pussy-assed response. Well I thought it would be a good idea if I offered some help again.

Here's my reply:

Ashley,

I agree wholeheartedly! Unfortunately I don't have the money to donate*, but I do have the time and weaponry available to put an end to this injustice, the AMERICAN way. I propose we hunt wolf hunters from the sky. Let's see how they like it.

Anyway, you have the chopper pick me up and we'll start hunting the hunters. Sounds pretty cool, eh?

Maybe make a red carpet event of it. Of course the red carpet would be the bloodstained flesh of the wolf-hunters.

I have proposed other ideas like this in the past, one of them was flying a couple Spanish bullfighters in to my home here in Florida, and having like a pay-per-view company televise me mashing them like potatoes.

I understand, as your organization has reminded me multiple times, that violence is not a viable option for you. Well, it is for me. With that in mind, if my above ideas aren't up to your standards, we can compromise: I would love to have Ms Palin and yourself, mudwrestle at my place.

Let me know what you think!

I'm here to help,

Andy


*I totally do, lol!

2 comments:

Steve_Kerr said...

HYM 4 President!

Steve_Kerr said...

ps. Tell Ashley Judd to get at me.