Monday, January 12, 2009

you old sailor, you

Some of you may or may not know that I went to China over the holidays. Yeah, my brother and our girlfriends went to visit my mom. She lives there.

Go Mom - you go girl!

Anyway, we spent a couple days in Hong Kong, no biggie I'm all kinds of cultured. The hotel was sweet: great location, nice rooms, fancy stuff there, you get the idea. Little did I know that I wouldn't discover just how sweet it really was - until like a week after I got back home....

When we flew into Hong Kong, my brother's luggage didn't show up till a day and a half later. Heh, sorry man. Of course now he was sans clean clothes and his shaving kit.

He made some comment about how the toothpaste the hotel provided was weird. Like anything someone I care about says, it went in one ear, and right out the other.

Eventually it was time to leave the hotel, so I packed up all my crap, and grabbed the complimentary toothbrush the hotel left for us.

A week later my regular toothbrush was beat. I tossed it, and grabbed the infamous "Hong Kong Toothbrush".

This may have been the smartest thing I have ever done. This thing has bristles that seem to be made out of the most beautiful boobies. The handle must be made out of the finest woman's toned ass cheek. It's a pleasure to hold and use.

You know in the movie Wedding Crashers, where Vince Vaughn refers to Owen Wilson as a 'motorboatin' son of a bitch'? Well every time I apply toothpaste to my amazing toothbrush, I hear Vince Vaughn saying that to me.

Yeah, it feels that awesome.

Hong Kong Toothbrush, I love you and I wouldn't trade you for anything.

1 comment:

kdrab said...

You wouldn't trade your toothbrush? Who would ask you to?

Fine. I'll give you some belly lint from Angelina Jolie.

On second thought. Keep it all...