The following post is a truthful account of the events that happend on Saturday November 8th, around 5:30 PM.
Yeah so I was just sitting around, waiting for Heckyeah-woman to get home from school so we could go get some food. I had just gotten out of the shower, and I'm just dicking around on the internet to kill a few minutes, when I glance over at our 3-legged cat, Meow Meow. The following conversation ensued:
Cat (C): Quit looking at me you fucker
Heckyeah-man.blogspot.com/me (HYM): What? I just wanted to see if you were awake yet.
C: Why? So you can get up, come over here, and pet me? Put some clothes on you shithead.
HYM: Jesus, what kind of bug crawled up your ass today? Fine, I'll go put some jeans on.
C: Are you deaf you little turd? I said put some clothes on. Clothes. Not Clothe. Clothes. Plural. Multiple items of clothing.
HYM: Let's not get into semantics, Meow Meow.
C: It's a good thing Heckyeah-woman is the one in grad school, cause you'd fail miserably, dipshit.
HYM: How would you like to lose another leg?
C: I'd like to see you come over here and try, pussy.
HYM: Wait, you're calling me the pussy? Pussy. Remember the time I picked you up by your neck, and all you could do was cry?
C: I may be a pussy cat, but you're the only Pussy I see.
HYM: You wanna say that to my face, motherfucker?
C: I just did, but I'll gladly repeat it.
HYM: You don't have the balls.
C: No shit, I'm a female. I never had balls. Similar to you.
HYM: Yeah, you're right, you are a female. Why the hell aren't you in the kitchen baking me a pie? Bake me a pie, ho.
C: Give me a couple Whisker Lickins. (treat that she likes)
HYM: I'm not giving you shit. Remember that time Heckyeah-woman was out of town for a week, and I never fed you and kept you locked up in the bathroom all day? You remember?
C: Yeah that sucked.
HYM: Well that's gonna happen again if you don't shut your trap. Now go play in the garbage disposal, Heckyeah-woman's home and we're gonna go get some food.
C: *whispers* fuck you, your blog sucks.
I'll miss that cat.