Friday, December 5, 2008

so the other day I looked over at my cat

The following post is a truthful account of the events that happend on Saturday November 8th, around 5:30 PM.

Yeah so I was just sitting around, waiting for Heckyeah-woman to get home from school so we could go get some food. I had just gotten out of the shower, and I'm just dicking around on the internet to kill a few minutes, when I glance over at our 3-legged cat, Meow Meow. The following conversation ensued:

Cat (C): Quit looking at me you fucker (HYM): What? I just wanted to see if you were awake yet.

C: Why? So you can get up, come over here, and pet me? Put some clothes on you shithead.

HYM: Jesus, what kind of bug crawled up your ass today? Fine, I'll go put some jeans on.

C: Are you deaf you little turd? I said put some clothes on. Clothes. Not Clothe. Clothes. Plural. Multiple items of clothing.

HYM: Let's not get into semantics, Meow Meow.

C: It's a good thing Heckyeah-woman is the one in grad school, cause you'd fail miserably, dipshit.

HYM: How would you like to lose another leg?

C: I'd like to see you come over here and try, pussy.

HYM: Wait, you're calling me the pussy? Pussy. Remember the time I picked you up by your neck, and all you could do was cry?

C: I may be a pussy cat, but you're the only Pussy I see.

HYM: You wanna say that to my face, motherfucker?

C: I just did, but I'll gladly repeat it.

HYM: You don't have the balls.

C: No shit, I'm a female. I never had balls. Similar to you.

HYM: Yeah, you're right, you are a female. Why the hell aren't you in the kitchen baking me a pie? Bake me a pie, ho.

C: Give me a couple Whisker Lickins. (treat that she likes)

HYM: I'm not giving you shit. Remember that time Heckyeah-woman was out of town for a week, and I never fed you and kept you locked up in the bathroom all day? You remember?

C: Yeah that sucked.

HYM: Well that's gonna happen again if you don't shut your trap. Now go play in the garbage disposal, Heckyeah-woman's home and we're gonna go get some food.

C: *whispers* fuck you, your blog sucks.

I'll miss that cat.

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