Friday, November 14, 2008

nervous trepidation

Great use of a big word! I know, right.

Anyway, the title of this post sums up how I feel every time I walk into the bathroom at work. We have 2 small bathrooms here at the office. One has a stall and a urinal; the other has a stall plus 2 urinals. I usually hit the latter.

I always get this queasy feeling in my stomach whenever I put my hand on the disease-ridden doorknob...not because of the syphillitc swine that are prone to putting their greasy, non-handwashing mitts on it, but because I never know if someone is gonna be in there spilling some urine, or dropping a deuce. And I hate when some dude is in there blasting away, without locking the door.

Furthermore(!), I don't really like going to the bathroom around other people. Especially at work. But get me on the basketball court, and I'll shit all over you, son.


Are you supposed to talk to the person in the urninal next to you? Do you look over to make eye contact? What if I look over to make eye contact - in the middle of exchanging pleasantries, and the other dude doesn't - and out of the corner of his eye he just sees me looking over at him, potentially checking out his dong? Is that awkward?

I mean, I'm not checking out anyone's dong; I'm just trying to be polite. My father always told me that a real man will look you in the eyes when he's talking to you.

I'm not sure if that applies at the urinal.

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