Friday, November 14, 2008

nervous trepidation

Great use of a big word! I know, right.

Anyway, the title of this post sums up how I feel every time I walk into the bathroom at work. We have 2 small bathrooms here at the office. One has a stall and a urinal; the other has a stall plus 2 urinals. I usually hit the latter.

I always get this queasy feeling in my stomach whenever I put my hand on the disease-ridden doorknob...not because of the syphillitc swine that are prone to putting their greasy, non-handwashing mitts on it, but because I never know if someone is gonna be in there spilling some urine, or dropping a deuce. And I hate when some dude is in there blasting away, without locking the door.

Furthermore(!), I don't really like going to the bathroom around other people. Especially at work. But get me on the basketball court, and I'll shit all over you, son.

<_return.to.toilet_talk.exe>

Are you supposed to talk to the person in the urninal next to you? Do you look over to make eye contact? What if I look over to make eye contact - in the middle of exchanging pleasantries, and the other dude doesn't - and out of the corner of his eye he just sees me looking over at him, potentially checking out his dong? Is that awkward?

I mean, I'm not checking out anyone's dong; I'm just trying to be polite. My father always told me that a real man will look you in the eyes when he's talking to you.

I'm not sure if that applies at the urinal.

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