Wednesday, June 25, 2008

one of the worst days of my life

here's a quick story; but be warned, it's one that is really pretty pointless. i'm not even sure why i'm sharing it. whatever. it must have been a couple years ago...i used to play basketball every weekend, usually sundays, with some guys from work. and this sunday started out like any other. though from the ominous thunder, to the looming rain clouds, i should have had an inkling that something was going to go awry. terribly awry.

i usually looked forward to playing each weekend, even though clearly, i was the worst of the bunch - but that's neither here nor there. anyway, i'm guarding this freakishly tall guy, and he's pretty good. he once told me he was an 'experienced ballhandler'. naturally i say nothing, just leaving it at that - you know, to avoid any more awkward moments. i'm not judging, i'm just saying.

so the tall dude has got the ball, and somehow i manage to jar it loose. we both make a grab for the basketball, but somehow i trip over my own two feet, and fall face first. face first right into his sweaty ass. it was horrible. between the flashbacks, the teasing, the therapy sessions, and the shame, i am slowly getting ready to step on the basketball court again. i'm not sure how to truly get over something like this; but i do know one thing for sure: it had been years since the last time i cried like that.


kdrab said...

Amazingly, nothing has been contested in the way things actually went down that day since the Kennedy assassination. The only thing missing is the Zepruder film.

Hi, "freakishly tall guy" here - just thought I'd introduce myself. Let's start off by looking at one critical fact.

Set-up: "tall dude has got the ball, and somehow i manage to jar it loose"

Then: "we both make a grab for the basketball"

Finally: "i trip over my own two feet, and fall face first right into his sweaty ass"

I don't know how many people go to "grab for the basketball" ass first.

Mr. Heck Yeah, Man, could you please illustrate to the jury how this is possible?

In closing, I would just like to suggest, that Mr. Heck Yeah, Man accidentally - nay, I say PURPOSEFULLY planted said head into the ass of the other player.

Your honor, the defense of "freakishly tall guy" rests.

Oooh and go to my website - *shameless freakishly tall plug*

Andy said...

I actually laughed so hard I farted.